Time just seem to fly so so fast, and yet now, it is just left a week to Special Awards 2009. It just seem like it was only yesterday that clique has only decided to hold extra guitar practices in preparation for Special Awards Performance, and now is like very close to the actual.

Make no secret of it, I am very scared and worried that I cannot be able to perform well when it matters most. I just hope that come Special Awards, I hope I can play well, and lead the team to debut glory. Am I the right man to lead u all ??

This week, met shawn at Yishun interchange at 8am, to travel to AWWA together. Reach the bus stop was raining very heavily, so shawn advise call amanda ask if can longpang anot haha. In the end is trouble amanda's mum 2 fetch us and philip to ACCESS. sorry sia taxi fare give u, amanda=p

Reached ACCESS then wait for amanda (Clique mah so wait for each other is only right) to readsy then we 4 go to auditorium together, met Sharman and the rest there, already
tuning their guitars. Soon, we settle down, start tuning guitars, then before we know it, they ask us to go up on stage if we all are ready. So fast??haha

Fear engulf me as I took my steps walking towards the stage, fear in the sense of scared tt i will play poorly and of coz abit nervous la half half. Rehearsed on stage twice, in between watching amanda's wheelchair dancing group and also SPARKZ sing. Inspired by both. I also saw a video of ththe works in awwa for the past year. I saw myself volunteering as camp committee in Skull Island this year. Moreover, I have also seen presentation of deserving award winners and also their achivements. I see those inspiring stories that has indeed had an impact on me, inspiring me etc, and yes, i tink i look up to them alot, seing wad they had to go through to achieve their success as seen in them today. Sad to say that I dont have the determination as strong as them haiz... So, after tt rested a while then they run 1 more round of rehearsals before it ended. I felt that all was very well done.

After which, went for lunch with clique then extra practice until 6+. Shall not say anymore abt extra, because it was very disappointing, confidence torn to shreds. Went dinner with amanda and YP, then slack chat chat dao 8 then we went home our different ways.

I just like saturdays eh, dont u tink?? Being with clique is just fun, fun to the extent that time seems to pass so fast whenever I am with them. Slower can?? haha

If there will be 1 saturday which I dont wan to come fast, it will be the next saturday, the 1st of august....I hope I can play well..I hope the team can win, I can win....

It is just cool to be with them, play guitar, chat together do all those fun things together. We slowly bonding together, closer and closer liao. Every saturday guitar, to play with them is just a motivation in itself liao. I hhave successfully blended all of them together into 1 united group, and I tink it brings about lots of happiness for me, so I freely express myself yea so. it is just so fun to be with this clique. This sat, the wjole clique will be reunited 2 celebrate the success of all those clients that brought me inspiring stories....

P.S: With u, I cant lose, sure win de, can help me for 1 last time?? Is my dream to play guitar with u, help me achieve it, can?? We always talk on msn about guitar, now is about performing when it matters most..I hope the team can win, I can win, and we can make that happen...I also share yr fear, yr nervousness, even though i didnt say it out, in fact, I am more scared and nervous..I can only win with u, make my dream come true, as we chase even more glory as a team, and you are key to that happening...Help me, encourage me....

Monday, July 20, 2009

Guitar Special Awards Preparation

Special Awards is just less than 2 weeks away, 13 days more to be exact, but I can see the light now shining brightly towards my goal, our goal, guitar Ensemble's goal and target. Ytd saturdsy normal, had official guitar practice, abit of extra practice, then go watch powerSoccer with shawn, amanda and YP, at stadium for a while, go dinner with amanda and YP, before coming home.

Official guitar practice from 11-12.30pm, was very much a different experience, as we immediately went auditorium practice, tuned guitar. While tuning, witnessed the sparkz group practicing on their part for the upcoming Special Awards, with the song, "I Have A Dream". I listened to them play and then halfway tuned, just sort of piut down guitar, onli staring and watching sparkz sing. I have to say that that team is great, really great.

Then, it was our turn to play liao, to practice on stage, and i got to say that I was shaking at the thought of coming up the ramp linking to the stage, and well, the last time i went up tt ramp was 3 years ago, to coolect my Perserverance award in 2006. Nva gonna imagine I'm going back on stage yet again in 13 days time not to collect award, but to perform guitar. Until now, I still have to take time for reality to sink in...

So yea, went up stage ramp, helped amanda push her up ramp, then do preparations before guitar ensemble started practicing the song. And really, is for real, and yet i cant believe it lor, the reason i not sure why. Played with the tests of microphone and everything, was cool la, to put it simply, its just great to be back to the team where success is flowing, flowing like water....
After official practice, lunch, then Janice treat us to ice cream in Mac, then go void deck play guitar together. All did well i congratulate them for all their efforts, thanks guys...Before sharman had to leave at 4, I gave the team so called a team talk about the prospects of the guitar team who is really going to perform for Special Awards 2009.

"As u all know, we onli have 2 weeks before the actual SA, i hope that all of u can put in much of yr effort to help the team progress as a team. I believe that many of you, except for amanda, will be making yr debut in this event this year. This is a team practice, so cannot rely on invidual talent to see us through it, we must play together as a team to succeed. If we want progress, we have to proogress as a team, not as individuals. All I want from u all is not talent, but consistent effort. I got to say that YP is one of the fastest to improve as well as shawn, but overall the team did well. So let us give our last lap of effort and practice towards that 1 goal that I so dearly crave.."

Then we took bus and train to Choa Chu Kang meet Janice, in the end is we 4 go here ourselves, coz anice will be late. So took bus again to the stadium, got lost there, explored the diffrent ways, then in then end, we went throught the long way, which was a multi-series of slopes to the next level. And, YP and amanda had to manuveur their wheelchairs up the slope, it was quite tiring to go up the slopes. I was also kind of struggling to go up the slope, but i see the 2 of them push their wheelchair up, i suddenly got the feeling of being helpless, as Yuan Ping asked me to let her do it herself which was easier for her, and also i really wanted to help amanda along, but I feared tt she will get say by her, tt she may have wanted to do it herself. As such, I didnt went to tell her abt me helping her. Thus, the feeling of helplessness, but in the end we got up there all right.
Went to the hall there find Janice, met quite of few familiar faces, among them some who are AWWA clients eg. Jiayong, BoonKeng etc. Then watched some matches of the PowerSoccer competition. I thought it was quite interesting to see soccer being played in a different way, the disabled way, using motorised wheelchairs, and I got to say that the skill and control shown by some of the players is just fantastic, really. Seing them play, I thought the modified way of soccer to suit the wheelchair-users was quite fun, and more harder, as the player had to control both their wheelchair and also the ball, yea so it was a eye-opener, showing the disabled people can also have the same interest of playing soccer at a high level of competition, like the way the normal people play their soccer. I am lucky enough to say that I got to witness and play both ways.

Yea after that went dinner with YP and Amanda at Yew tee while shawn had to go home yea. I asked amanda to help me take my handphone after eating, while I helped to push her wheelchair, as she was tired pushing herself liao, so I was quite happy to help her, very happy indeed, yea so psuhed her wheelchair all the wasy to MRT there, then she and Yuan Ping left towatrds Jurong East, while I took the other direction, then we went our different ways liao then realised tt my handphone was with Amanda. Got it back from her yesterday, so ya thanks.

I cannot tell how much I want to win with this team, I still figuring out how to sink in my mind that in another less than 2 weeks, all I have played guitar for over a year will be put to a stern test, I dunno if I can cope with the pressure and the expectation tt comes with it anot, but well, I got to try though. As the leader of the Guitar Ensemble, I promise my team that I will do well, have confidence in me, and also give me confidence.

It may not have sunk in yet, but until I go up on stage and play the guitar like what we all ahve been practicing for so many months, I wont say tt I have completed my dream of a successful debut. I hope I can do it bah...All I know is that the chance of succeeding with this team is put right in front of me now, whether I can successfully play well i dunno liao.. But i will always keep on trying

As what bestie amanda told me once "Dun keep looking down on urself, u sure can do it de. Must believe in urself." I hope I can follow her advice and believe in myself....

My Inspiration
Monday, July 20, 2009

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Getting Closer to Special Awards

Forget about saying that it is my dream to appear as a debutant for Special Awards. forget about that dream of mine. It is not just my dream, is also a dream that we all share as 1 team. Never mind that 1 has gone for so many of such performances and gained so much experience and learned so much, yet that passion and motivation to make another appearance still burns inside her like fire. This is a team dream made for a dream team..All dream for the same thing, same motivation, same goal..It seems cool that for the first time, we all are wanting and chasing the same thing..

As guitar coordinator, my job is to call the members to come for practice, and also to motivate and encourage u all to seee and share the same goals and objectives that i lined up to achieve with this team. And although some may see me as not doing a very good job as coordinator, I still stand by that I still got to do wad I am asked to do, when Janice first gave me a chance to be a coordinator, to lead the new team into success.

I have high hopes for my guitar team, starting with this upcoming Special Awards this year, which I hope is just the beginning of more success to come. Yet it left with another less than 3 more weeks before Special Awards Day, still the team of guitarists are not as yet ready for the performance, even myself is not ready, and I know that..

Yes, we know that we are not ready yet, so thus the need for extra guitar practice after the normal lessons with the teachers. The extra practices has to serve as a purpose, to give the team more time to practice and cmbine together, play as a team.

Yet i feel that during during extra practice, peter has not shown to me and the team his passion and enthusiaism to play for the team. He simply shows no interests and wont want to practice with us, when the rest are putting so mch effort to prepare for this event. Yet he just refuses to practice with us..

I know that this team indeed has great potential, seriously, this team can go far..As a team, i feel that Peter is causing a disturbance to the chemistry of the team. I see a divided team, not the team that i thought I had made together. When during practice, even if peter doesnt want to practice, he should not disturb those that want to learn, want to reach the goal of appearing for Special Awards this year. He only joins us to slack around and also to disturb the rest, which really I am disappointed in you.

The team has a divided opinion, whether you should join us for extra practice anot, never mind being able to appear for the actual Special Awards performance. Almost all had wanted him to be not involved in the extra practice, because they feel that you are affecting the rest of the team that wants to practice, I and TJ was the only ones that thought ought to give him a chance to prove yr skill, show that you are an asset to the team, rather than a liability.
I tried talk to peter and encourage him to put in effort to play for the team. I tink he doesnt know how much is the honour to represent awwa to be up on stage to perform in such a grand event such as the Special Awards. Peter, You said that you purposely did not want to show yr true ability using the guitar in case you are acting to be too pro, look as if you can own the rest of us..

Forget about saying that as you claimed that amanda and me are the best of the lot. I tink that isnt the case at all. I see the whole team as equally having potential to succeed. In fact, I have never focused on just getting amnda to perform, certainly not. Forget about having talent in this team, I care more about the effort the individual put in, certainly not about talent.
The 8 of us here all started the way the first time we joined guitar, just learning our trade to a new instrument. I also started to learn from scratch. Is all about effort and passion de. Take for example, Yuan Ping, see the way she improved so much though she started slowly, and like peter, also had difficlty at first. See the way she plays now, i can trust her to put in a good performance during the actual..She has indeed become 1 key player for the team liao. Forget that peter may see me as a very good player, is not that I am talented playing, is just that I put in alot alot of effort to learn and progress lor.

If there is 1 time which I want Peter to play well to his best, is that day when Special Awards comes. I want to lead this team and play well to introduce to AWWA that this is the new sparkz, which has already tasted so much success...

My Inspiration
Sunday, July 12, 2009

Sunday, July 5, 2009

SDSC Soccer Tournament

Yesterday Saturday went to participate in SCDC soccer tournament, held at Tampines SAFRA. I and the team went there to represent AWWA to challenge for a trophy. I indeed feel honoured to be able to represent AWWA A via AWWA van (long time never sit on tt van liao hehe)

The 1st team played a match at 9.20am. Surprisingly, we realised that we were challenging not against disabled people, but normal people. The opponent played fast, one touch passing football, in the end we lost 5-1 in that match. Althought that, i felt tt the team played their best, and our goalkeeper was fanastic. They lost another match 5-0 and got eliminated, but credit to them , they did AWWA proud.

At the other end, after which, the other team( which I was in) went to the training ground to practice. We had a selection difficuty of choosin a goalkeeper, so it was left to me and kelvin to fight it out for the No.1 jersey. Having played as a keeper when i played with my primary school friends, I thought I could do this de. I did what i felt I can, and got to nod to start as a goalkeeper in the next match. (Even though I still would have played as a second striker, i tink). Goalkeeper is still my best position i guess...

Started the game as a goalkeeper, against a team that was normal people again. I felt of many similiarities between this and my primary school friends. So, prior to the match, I told myself to take like I am playing with my primary school friends and perform likewise can liao...While standing at the goalpost, A sudden thought just came to me and gave me much confidence, and that sudden "thought" is my secret hahaha....

Throughout the match, I felt i did ok overall, but i was bitterly disappointed, that I conceded a goal though getting a strong hand to the shot..haiz...Thus, we lost 1-0 in the end..managed to qualify to next round though...

After that, the team captain gave us a harsh team talk sia...zzz...

After soccer tournament, went back ACCESS there. Peter, TJ and me went to gome ground find amanda they all for extra guitar practice...Thanks so much Amanda to carry my guitar and looking after it, 辛苦了你=))

My guitar got restring-ed by Daniel, yea. So, when practice will go off tune. I took time to get used to it, i was abit disappointing at the start, short of confidence( though I played combine with amanda haha) Overall, I was very disappointed with my performance during extra practice..

Practice ended early, coz amanda had to go off early. her mum came to fetch her ya, so thats that. Followed Peter, YP, TJ to dinner then go home together with Peter..

P.S. : Amanda, firstly thanks for carrying my guitar yesterday, you are the best=)

Secondly, thanks for your tag on my blog, your words of wisdom has indeed encouraged and gravatised me. I dunno how 2 thank you sia...I wont look down on myself de, I will learn from u to get your style of self belief..Thanks for your luck for my Common test which starts tomorrow. Thanks for everything that you have given and encouraged me throughout..I will be looking forward to play guitar with you, coz you are such a amazing talent...thanks for everything=]] Best friends forever=) Oh ya...i hope to let u know that Whatever I say that may sound weird, I want you to know that I am joking with you only...I am very very very lucky to call you as my best friend, stay that way, forever and always...=)

My Inspiration
Sunday, July 05, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

You are my best friend, my inspiration, my role model, whatever I call u, it makes no much difference, is it??

It just seems to me that I thought that I known you long enough to see you as my best friend.
4 years and maybe I hope, more... I know that our buddy, Sylvia, know you for 8 years, since primary school.. As compared to me knowing you for only about 4 years, my time that I know you seems distant and far apart, should I say?? But does tt make me think tt I dont see you as my best friend as compared to her??

Many a times, it seems strange to other people that two of best and closest friends are girls, quite odd, or should I say, weird?? But, no, it isnt the case. In fact, when people ask me who is my best friend, I onli have 2 answers, or perhaps only that 1 answer, in my mind? I treat u very much as my best friend, do you see me likewise as your best friend??

When you in school feeling lonely, or solo in school, I would try to accompany you. It also makes me feel not so lonely when in school too, at least i got one person to find if I got problems and stress in school. You are perhaps the only close friend connection I hoped of having.

Last time, you always on msn will pm me, chat with me etc. I kinda like it, coz whenever you pm me, it would always lift my spirits, seeing tt I can spend time chat with you. Now that you would rarely or would not pm me, I feel quite lonely...

We both share the same passion and interest in guitar, yes. We have the motivation to do well for the guitar team, as well as the others. In fact, when we first started out in guitar, I knew that you were already had some musical background.

Throughout a year of playing guitar as one of my interests, I have always seek help and musical knowledge from yoou, because I know for sure that you would help me de=). In fact, you have made me the guitar player I am today, with the possibility of pursuing a dream that I had for quite some time. You guided me in some ways that improved my guitar skills progressively. In fact, without your help, I wouldnt even be playing guitar using the multi-finger style which you also employ in your guitar skills. In short, I see your skills in myself. During guitar practice or extra practice, sometimes I would play poorly or not up to my standard which I expected of myself, so so called will "cui". However, how strange the theory is, I always realised that I play better when playing with you, because I feel happy and thus confident playing guitar of you. It has been always my aim to be performing guitar for Special Awards 2009, but I think it will be an additional bonus to be able to play guitar together with you, among the rest, as part of Guitar Ensemble team..

I like to help people alot, and yes, I would help anyone. It bring me quite a nice feeling to be able to help others, from Yuan Ping, shawn etc. But i also like to help youu, is because that I thought I was as a friend, quite close to you, so I thought I could help you more (keep guitar, push wheelchair etc), coz i thought i was close to you, so can interact with you more freely. I remember once, when we went home together, when I lost control while pushing your wheelchair. But from then on, you told me that you were scared that I helped you? In penang camp last year, when they asked us to find a pair, you thought that I would find the rest and not pair with you? I tink at that time, my choice was quite clear that I would want to pair with you for tt dunno wad event or wadever. At that time, is because i wanted to help you too. It just seems to me that I am happy to help you alot alot, so if you realized, i always try my bestest of my ability to help you, not to say that i would also willingly help the others, without a doubt.

You have always been my inspiration, is because maybe ever since, i saw u climb down a long flight of steps one-handed with crutches, that I was right to get inspired by you. I were even triied to do that worr, never mind one handed, eeven so with crutches yet one-handed. I tink it takes alot of courage to go down one step, never mind completing the flight of it all, with the way you did it.

No matter what, I will always see you as my best friend......do you see it likewise?
....

My Inspiration
Wednesday, July 01, 2009